Right hand in heaven (part 2)

....continued from previously

“Nagisako, do you know that Atsushi’s going to Thailand?” My sister told me as she served the tea. I looked at him as I lifted the cup to my lips. From his eyes, I could tell that he looked uneasy.

“No, when?” I asked.

“During the spring break. I’ve some research to do. Besides, I haven’t been there since graduating from school. And after five years of marriage, I’ve finally been given the green light by Shiori to travel alone,” he said.

“But, Sis, you always went along with Atsushi. Why? You were afraid? That his heart would shift to another woman?” I probed.

“Nonsense,” she burst into laughter as if a joke, her hand covering her mouth. The hand fringed by nails that were painted a pretty cherry blossom pink. For a while, I was staring at it, mesmerized. Those fingers, which pander to Atsushi’s everyday needs, I thought, feeling a tinge of hatred for my sister at that very moment.

“What a loving husband and wife you make,” I said. Atsushi threw a brief glance at me. I looked out at their garden and continued.

“It seems there are many things you share when you’re married. But surely, there are things you can’t get from a marriage. Oh well, though it’s hardly a matter of concern to me.”

“But Nagisako, you’ll get married one day,” my sister said.

“Perhaps,” I said in reply.

“No one that you like?”

“There is. And many guys fancy me too, you know. They all tell me this, ‘Let me be your hand.’ Hah! Sweet, huh? But they can save it. I don’t even need my own, let alone theirs. I like that I’m left only with my left hand. My artificial one? I really don’t see the need for that. My right hand is in me and there is nothing I can’t get with it.”

A faint sadness grew on my sister’s face. She quickly masked it and poured me another cup of tea. “No one that you like?” She couldn’t have asked a better question. Asking me a question like that is as good as showing her attempt to pretend that she’s unaware of my feelings for him. Even if I do come out with his name, she would have made it into a joke and laugh, making sure that nobody gets hurt. That is why I wouldn’t say who he is. I really would hate to see her lying to everyone, especially herself.

Sitting in front of Atsushi was his fresh cup of tea. He reached for it and at that instant, his hair fell across his forehead. I want this man, I thought. He doesn’t have to return my love. I don’t need it. My sister is here for that. What I want out of this relationship has nothing to do with reciprocated love. I have no idea still what else will come out of it. But I believe that there is a hidden treasure waiting for me to uncover.

Unlike what I thought, there was no real look of surprise when he saw me at the hotel in Bangkok. He didn’t look like he welcomed my presence, either.

“You got it out of Shiori, didn’t you?” he asked.

“Ah huh. Good guess. I didn’t tell her I was coming, of course, so don’t be scared.”

“Don’t be scared? Why are you always behaving like this? Do you take pleasure out of harassing people?”

“Yes, just you, actually.”

He shook his head at me, amazed.

“Do you have a place to stay?” he asked.

“I’m going to Pattaya now. To Jantzen beach. I’ll stay at the hotel, Sugar Hut. Lovely name, don’t you think?

“And?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

He looked furiously at me. He should have hit me, I thought to myself. Such a willful sister-in-law that I am. If I were him, I wouldn’t put up with what I was doing.

“What if I say I’m not going?”

“You’ll come, I’m sure”

“Who decided that?”

“I did. And you, too.”

Leaving him with that, I walked towards the car waiting for me. “You won’t see me there!” I heard his voice calling out to my back. He will come. I was confident. The warm tropic air sticking to our bodies. The mellow sounds of Thai. Allured by them, it will occur to him natural to want to come see his wife’s sister at the bungalow by the sea. The Sugar Hut – a hut made out of sugar. Under its sweet aromatic shade, I would wait for him to come.