What a fool...

I felt like I've just been made the biggest fool. I don't think I'll ever trust what someone says to me, until it comes proven, like a written promise, a contract to be exact.

Saturday came and went and still there was no reply from the company that was supposed to contact me by then. And that kept me in jitters all the way just now until I made the doomed call to the Managing Director. After all the acknowledgment of my skills & talent, and showing a real interest to hire me (telling me to be positive before I left the interview), he said on the phone flatly that after a discussion, he found it difficult and would not offer me a position. No reason was provided, and my mind then was in a state of total blank to ask for a reason. My heart just dropped and it fell such a long way, that I don't know if I'll ever find it again....and thanks...for showing no decency to get back to me like you've promised.

The Unmarried Generation（難婚世代）

An interesting newspaper article about modern Japanese society that I read & translated...

The Unmarried Generation: Lost generation among the 25-35 year olds

The ideal marriage partner for Kiyomi, a 34-year-old temp staff from Tokyo, has to earn an annual salary above 10 million yen. He also needs to at least hold a full-time permanent job. Living in a quiet, high-end residential area in Setagaya as a full-time housewife, she would send her children for overseas studies and go on family holidays. That is the kind of marriage life Kiyomi pictures for herself in her mind.

In reality, she goes to work every day. Her work, mainly involving data entry, ends daily around 8 p.m. Although she works full-time, she receives no bonus and takes home a monthly salary slightly above 200,000 yen after tax. She lives in a 1K [1] apartment, costing 47,000 yen a month, by herself. After turning 30, teasing by her male colleagues about her single life has completely stopped.

Three years ago, she became all alone when her mother passed away. She was like a friend whom she could talk freely to about her love life. Every time she reads the letter her mother left, encouraging her to go for it if she finds a good man, she would yearn very much to get married.

Kiyomi’s father left the family when she was in elementary school. The image that she still has of her father resembles that of the late Ishihara Yujiro, who was tall and handsome. Even after their divorce, her mother was still full of praise for her father, saying that he was a person serious about his work. That is the reason why Kiyomi would never marry someone who is a ‘furita’ or ‘nito’ [2]. Even though she is lonely, she believes that it is better to remain single than to marry such a man.

In summer last year, she joined Seishin, a matchmaking agency. She signed up for the package that promises to match her up with doctors and dentists, graduates from Tokyo’s prestigious Waseda or Keio university, or men with a yearly income above 10 million yen. The membership fee for men is approximately 50,000 yen, and 300,000 yen for women. After agonising for three months, she gave up her savings to the agency.

“By myself, I can’t make even 5 million yen a year. Marriage is a big chance for me to move up the ranks to a better life,” she said. There are only six months left before her membership is up, but her ideal partner has yet to appear.

The number of males and females not marrying or could not find a partner is increasing. According to the census in 2005, the percentages of unmarried people between the ages of 30-34 are 41.7% for men and 32% for women respectively. The percentage for both sexes has increased by 10%, compared to a decade ago. The result also shows that the percentage of married men among males who do not have a permanent job is around half of their permanently employed counterparts.

A 31-year-old contract worker, anonymous, from Yokohama city wants to find a partner who can accept his hobby. That is his utmost criteria. Many toy figurines are lined up near his kotatsu [3] in his apartment and 300 volumes of hobby magazines and manga pile up at his bedside. A contract employee of a freight company, this man proudly claims himself an “Akiba-kei otaku”, a techno, manga, or anime geek who often hangs out in Akihabara [4]. He spends his past time writing in his blog, titled “Megane-ko”, on a young female character with glasses and for hobby magazines. Contrary to his fulfilling world of make-believe, his real life is bleak. Working on the night shift on a contract that needs to be renewed every six months, he brings home only an income of 150,000 yen a month.

He had the ambition of becoming a researcher in a graduate school, but gave it up two years ago. It was during that period that his leanings towards the otaku culture began to tilt further.

His parents remain ignorant of his visits to Akihabara. His rent of 60,000 yen is still being supported by them. Since his father retired last year, he has been getting frequent calls from his mother urging him to quickly get a stable job. He does not know how long he can depend on his father, now living on his pension.

The reason why he can put aside his fears for his future is the existence of the mecca for otaku culture, Akiba (Akihabara). He drops by four times a month and frequents the maid cafes there two or three times a day.

He used to have a girlfriend in university and though he has plans to marry, the desire is not that strong. “Humans in real life aren’t like characters in a virtual game. They don’t do things according to your wishes. If my girlfriend wants me to be a stay-at-home husband, fine. But if she can’t put up with my hobby, I’ll have to say no to marriage,” he said.

What would happen to him 40 years from now? He has a vision and that is of one in a nursing home where he will be taken care of by care workers, all of them dressed up in French maid costumes. He could not picture himself having a family.

We are now part of a generation in which one out of four employees could not hold a permanent job. The visions held by the men and women of this generation do not seem likely to match and come together.

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[1] one bedroom adjoined to a kitchen

[2] modern slang for people not holding a permanent job or unemployed

[3] low table that the Japanese use to keep their feet warm in winter

[4] a large shopping area in Tokyo for electronic and anime goods etc.

Bye bye...baby face....

Hmm...maybe it's the end of my baby face days. I've finally grown my hair long enough to do a perm. Being the first time, I couldn't help looking at myself in the mirror with a very bemused expression at the hair salon. I couldn't decide then whether it suits me or not. Though I kind of like the fact that I look more mature and feminine with permed hair. But I'm also scared that people will think I look "auntie"!! Bleagh....

There is hope...

As luck would have it, I was called back for a 2nd interview with a translation/publishing company today. I wasn't very hopeful after the first interview because of certain things that the interviewer said and also because I wanted to kick myself after that for sounding like the most unconfident job candidate ever. I thought I didn't stand a chance, but I still accepted the trial to translate 2 Japanese ads into English.

And so I submitted the trial and didn't hear anything for about a week. During that period, together with the lack of response from other companies, I began to seriously doubt my abilities. I thought that I may not be able to realise my dream after all.

Even when I was contacted to go for the 2nd interview, I still wasn't confident, as there may be other competition. But there was something that I was really looking forward to and yet feared very much - the evaluation of my trial. And when I was told the result of it, my face was a mixture of pleasure, surprise and relief. It was something that I longed to hear, as it could dictate the fate of my future. I've always known that I want to translate someday. I've always been very serious when I do it for myself, out of interest. And I enjoy every minute of it. But I need a professional to tell me if I have the aptitude for it. And I could hardly believe it when the words finally reached my ears, though I must have been yearning to hear them for ages. My work was shown to an editor and was highly praised by him/her. I was told that I have a good linguistic sense. And nothing could make me happier than hearing that.

However, it's still not been decided whether I'd be hired or not. The salary that I asked for is higher than what they are offering. So, the company has to think about it before getting back to me. The interviewer told me to think positively, so I hope that the offer would be reasonable and I could possibly be one more step closer to my dream.