Hina ningyou

My supervisor is so sweet! Or actually his wife and daughter are sweeter, as they are the ones who made the paper hina ningyou. He wrote me a message along with the gift, which the tea lady at school passed to me. I'm guessing that he only gave it to me and Janet, as this is only significant to girls. It's the Hinamatsuri - Doll's or Girl's Festival on Mar 3. During this period, the Japanese would display the dolls in a tier (the main ones being the princess and the prince) at home to wish for the happiness & health for their daughters. A male and female doll are placed near each other representing the wish for love. These ceremonial dolls are passed from generation to generation, and some parents buy a new set when their daughters get married or give birth to a girl. It is said that if the dolls displayed aren't kept away after Mar 3, the daughters will have trouble getting married. Haha..but my tutor told me it's said so that people won't get lazy and not keep the dolls.

Identity mix-up

As I walked into one of the 1 nensei classes in the morning together with the JTE, 福元君(a spitting image of Mike Myers. I specially printed out a picture of M.M to show him, but he hasn't been too pleased with me since then! hee..) with his high shrill voice screamed, "Aaaccck, here comes Janet!". I pretended to be angry and said you're not my favourite student anymore (he isn't though). The JTE went along by saying that he's not going to start the lesson until 福本君 remembers my name. So the poor boy was talking to himself (as usual) and trying to redeem himself. He finally remembered when the class were about to greet the JTE and me good morning. He looked as if he has struck gold when he recalled my name. Ahh..福元君...he's really a character. hehe.

I sometimes get called "Janet" by the students. I'm not surprised if the teachers mistake me for Janet too. It's not as if we look alike, but there are too many AETs coming and going all these years that it's hard to keep track. Besides, we're both Chinese. And Peter often gets mistaken for Ricky. When I was with Peter at the elementary school the other time, the kids saw him and went "Ohh..Ricky!! Hey, Ricky!!", which really amused me. Again, they look completely different. I wonder who will be me the next time the new AETs arrive in August.

Nowhere to hide

I was having dinner at the ramen shop (I swear it has the best ramen I've ever eaten in Japan) when a few students of mine walked in. I'm always bumping into my students as I live in a small town and am near all my schools. I see them at the train station, on the train, when walking to the station or home, at the DVD rental shop, 100 yen shop, ramen shop, supermarkets, Mister Donuts, McDonalds and even the clinics. I don't really mind them seeing me outside the schools, as I even go up to talk to those I'm more familiar with. But it's kind of embarrassing sometimes as I look horrible when I go to the doctor! Some students & most teachers also know where the AETs live which surprised and made me uncomfortable at first. But luckily, we have no stalkers at our schools. Unfortunately for Alex, my friend in another city, has had girls following him home which made him crazy! :p

Double Bs

April and I were going to volunteer at the Saitama Children's Home yesterday, an event organised by the AJET committee. But we never got there! We were looking for them at the meeting place at Omiya station, but didn't see any Caucasians or JET-looking people. It didn't help that I don't know who would be there. And April's memory of the president, Cody was fuzzy. So there we were going around the station staring at Caucasians and trying to see whether we can detect any JETness in them! Needless to say, we didn't find them and the train to the Home left. We weren't sure if it was cancelled and didn't know how to get there. It turned out that I made a mistake about the meeting place at the station. :( I certainly deserve the nickname crowned to me by my secondary school friends....

So with no plans until the evening, we went out with Michael and his Japanese "friends" (2 people from the English speaking club in Urawa) for batting and bowling. I was trying to avoid the Japanese man as much as I could because he was smoking like a chimney! It was just 1 cigarette after another. Was trying hard not to breathe in and choke. And like most Japanese men, he wasn't good at striking up a more meaningful conversation (especially because he was trying to speak English) and asked us similar questions like my students will ask. Please refer to previous post. :p I've long resigned to the fact that although I can speak Japanese, I can't really click with most of the women or the men enough to be friends. Except for one period that I don't care to elaborate. Oh,batting was hard! I missed most of the balls, and some that I hit bounced back to hit my legs. Ouch! My arms and hands are still hurting from swinging the bat. And my posture in this picture is definitely not your typical baseball one. But I improved...:0 At the bowling center, we saw this very very small boy trying to bowl. His ball was so slow moving that the staff had to go retrieve it back so that his parents can play. hehe.

Temporary escape

I hurried up with my school lunch on Fri as I had an elementary school visit in the afternoon. I didn't have to rush, but I was eager to leave the school. I was getting kind of sick of the attitude of the JHS students in this school. It was fun being with the elementary school kids. Together with Peter (AET from Melbourne) and two other Japanese ladies, we sang songs, played games and set up a McDonald's store so that the kids can practice ordering and serving in English. But one thing about being with younger children is that they deplete your energy level easily. I remember always being so tired and sleeping on the bus every day after 1/2 day of teaching at the Japanese primary school in Clementi. So although I love teaching them, I wouldn't ever consider being a full-time kindergarten or elementary school teacher.

All about nothing

I've been in no mood to write lately because I'm very bored at school. I can complain & complain here, but it'll all just bog down to the same thing - boredom, which is boring to write about. There will always be such a period at each school that I go to. Well, maybe especially at this school. Though I have to go to one more school before I can pass the verdict of which is the most horrible school....meaning that I don't do much and the teaching & receiving of English education are so horrendous (not to mention the lack of discipline) that I numb myself so that I can cope better.

It's not always good to be different

There is this boy in my school that I took a double take when I first saw him. He's only 14 years old, but is so handsome and grown up. I can't imagine any girl who isn't secretly in love with him. He's half Japanese & Australian with spiky dirty blonde hair & the most beautiful eyes. I think he looks a little like David Beckham. However, he speaks as little English as his Japanese classmates. I've always envied people with mixed heritage because obviously they are usually very good looking and have a different air about them. Just look at the number of Eurasians dominating the media in Singapore. Also, I thought it would be so fun to experience two different cultures, to be able to speak a foreign language (for some cases), and travel to my mum or father's country during the holidays if I were one too!

So thinking that all hafu (that's the Japanese version of Eurasian, meaning half) must be damn proud of their uniqueness, I teased him about not being able to speak English well despite having an Australian father. I knew he won't be offended about me teasing him about his English. But to my horror, I was talking to Janet about him today and found out that his father had left the family, leaving them with a Japanese stepfather now. And he and his brother (who just graduated) have an inferiority complex about that. I cursed myself for being so insensitive and feels extremely guilty about perhaps adding to the boy's complex. Just because I think that being a hafu is cool doesn't mean that they themselves like to be singled out because they look different. In fact, their difference is sometimes a result of their pain, especially in a homogenous country like Japan. And many inter-racial or inter-cultural marriages do often have unhappy endings though they may seem romantic to an idiot like me.

I should know about the difficulties that some hafu in Japan face because I've read and researched on them in university. But I forgot that there are actually real-life cases of the discrimination and inferiority complex I read in those academic books, and I'm smacked amongst it right now. What happened today made me realise that I shouldn't be so insensitive to such cultural differences because although Eurasians are highly regarded in Singapore, the hafu in Japan aren't so lucky. I should keep my mouth shut from now on. :(

Welcome to the cabaret world!

I was walking back to Roppongi station after my dance class when a Japanese man in a black suit walked to my side and said "キャバクラーの仕事、、、". I always quickly walk past whenever I get approached by strangers so it took me a second to absorb what he said to me after I shunned him. He was scouting me as a cabaret hostess!! Hah...If I've had just stopped for a moment, I would definitely have given him a dirty look. Do I look like I'm in need of money or a loose woman? It would really have been more insulting if he was scouting for an AV girl. One of my guy friends here think that I look like Ijima Ai, a very famous AV actress (retired). And I refuse to accept that!!!

Don't screw it up

I was discussing with my Japanese tutor about my future plans. She mentioned that my time in Japan now can be considered very important and useful for me...perhaps a critical time that may map out the future that I'm going to lead. As my job is so easy and gives me lots of free time (which sometimes I despair over because I like to be more challenged), I have lots of time to plan and work at where I want to go from here. Most of the time, people are too occupied with their current jobs or studies to have the luxury to stop and think about their future. In this sense, I'm extremely lucky. But because it's a critical time for me, I'm also afraid that I'll screw it up. What if things don't go according to my plan and circumstances banish me back to square one? Sometimes I feel really scared....that perhaps I'm not cut out to be something I hope for. I really hope I'll not lose my bearings, stay on the right track and have more confidence in myself.

Wrong traffic

The class I had to eat lunch and clean the classroom (only happens at this school) with today overwhelmed me a little with their attention. Some boys from 2-2 crowded around me and kept talking to me when I went up. Questions came from them ceaselessly even as we were eating until they ran out of things to ask. I enjoyed and was very flattered by their attention, but it made it hard for me to eat. Because I'm a slow eater, I had to gobble up all my food when the bell rang. Japanese are trained well to be fast eaters. Fortunately, not all classes are like 2-2 (some classes aren't interested in talking to me) so I can eat slowly in peace. Otherwise, I will suffer from indigestion!

The boys flirted with me harmlessly (It's not meant to sound bad! It's a natural thing to do at this age & beyond from my view) and teased me about a male teacher whose wife is an English teacher I've worked with in another school. I discovered that he has a crush on me from the boys today and not only that, one boy made fun about him coming to peep at me many times during cleaning! This is not the first time I've heard of married Japanese men liking me, which makes me not want to marry a Japanese man. I wouldn't want my future husband to be hankering thoughts about some young lady at his workplace!

I'm beginning to feel that there's something wrong in my life. Why am I getting so much attention from young boys and married men when I really should be getting attention from young and eligible men?! The traffic directed towards me should really change because it's so wrong! (......no emoticon to express the emotion I feel. haha.)

Sakura & Chicken

My principal at the third school is an animal lover so it's not surprising to see a few animals lurking around. And during our lunch break, I would always see these three 1 nensei boys cleaning the pen of the duck, Sakura, and the chicken, whose name I don't know. Instead of playing sports or chatting idly with their friends, these kids sacrifice their play time to care for the animals. And 石井くん, the boy handling Sakura happens to be a really good student in English class. Very cheerful and participative! I wish there are more kids like him, positive and with a heart of gold.

P.S Sakura seems to like me as he would always follow me around when I approach the pen. But I'm quite afraid of him when he's out roaming freely because he likes to peck people with his beak!

In a mood for murder

Think it's going to snow tonight until the next morning. Guess I should wake up much earlier tomorrow as I may have to walk to school. Not sure that I can trust myself to ride in the snow. I'm not sure why but I'm quite scared of riding my bike recently. There's a bad feeling hanging around that I can't shake off. Hopefully, it's just a case of paranoia.

The neutral feelings towards Weird Teacher have definitely faded to bring in the rage I have towards him. Every time I step into his classes now, I feel like murdering him. His students are learning rubbish! All he's done is just making me read a crappy listening test that he made (which is full of grammatical mistakes) slowly three times and clap and say "Grrrr..good!!" when the students get the answers right, as if his test is high on the IQ level. And later on, he'll send me alone to another room to have a conversation with the students row by row. I've realised that the 3 nensei in this school can barely understand English, not even the simple Q&As they should have learned in first grade. I assume that when I'm gone, he's just standing at the back of the class letting the students talk as they want and joke with them. Because that's all I usually see him doing. No wonder most of his students aren't interested in and very poor at English. I thought the English level at the other schools were pretty bad, but it's worse here. I hate it that such a teacher can actually continue with his bad teaching while the school does nothing about it. What's going to happen to the students' future when they graduate from junior high school? Even if English isn't important in Japan, students shouldn't be made to waste their time in class. And a good teacher can definitely instill some motivation in learning.

According to Janet, he said he doesn't like teaching and prefers the quiet students who don't like to participate so that he doesn't have to teach much. What the ......!! How can an adult that's responsible for the academic future of so many children be like that? Even though teaching isn't a long term career I'm carving out for myself, I still have my students' best interest at heart.　And yet a permanent teacher can short-change his students like that. I feel so demoralised when I'm teaching with him. But as an assistant English teacher, I can only suppress my feelings and bear with it.

Home sweet pineapple tarts!

Finally, I got my hands on the pineapple tarts that I've been dreaming of for months..although they're pretty crushed! And I can't stop munching on them now. There's so few that I can finish them today! These pineapple tarts went through many hands and travelled a long way here. First my mum got them from my nanny (whose friend makes them), and passed them to my uncle who then passed to Pauline who came to Tokyo for a holiday. Because Pauline didn't have time to meet me, she left them at the concierge in her hotel. And I went to Grand Hyatt Century Hotel after my salsa class in Roppongi to collect them today. Wow...so many people and so much trouble involved just for erh....10 or so pineapple tarts!! Ok.... plus some other stuff I asked my mum to pass to Pauline. But thanks to everyone who was involved in this big project of getting my favourite tarts to me!

And I can't wait for another batch to come because my very good friend has finally couriered me a box of pineapple tarts yesterday from Singapore. Yatta! I hope they're good. Arigatou!

Bean throwing festival

Heh...people may think that Japan must be nuts to actually have such a festival. Yesterday was the 節分 Setsubun (bean throwing) Festival. Although I didn't see it happening (as I didn't go to any Japanese temples/shrines or their homes), we had the mame (beans) during school lunch. Setsubun is held on Feb 3, the day before 立春（りっしゅん - the first day of spring according to the Japanese lunar calendar）. The Japanese would have someone putting on the oni (demon) mask and throw beans at him shouting "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi"! Meaning out with demons and in with happiness. After throwing the beans, we're supposed to eat the number of beans according to our age by the lunar calendar. I didn't bother to count and just ate the whole packet! I wish I could have witnessed the festival though.

And it is said that on the first day of spring, it turns very cold. Which is true because it became very cold and windy since last night after a good day of warm weather. But technically, it's not spring yet until the plum (ume), peach (momo) and cherry (sakura) trees blossom in chronological sequence. And I'm waiting faithfully and eagerly for the time to come, as my Chinese name, 喜春, suggests that I love spring, not to mention flowers!

I've never come across a country (not that I've travelled to a lot of places) that is so in tune with the change of the four seasons like Japan. While in Australia, I didn't see people celebrating the change of seasons with festivals nor have many haiku (poems) waxing lyrical on winter, spring, summer and autumn. Japan is very unique to me in this sense.

Questions that I get tired of answering

The four most popular questions AETs have to answer over & over again especially if you have many schools to rotate are "What food do you like?", "What sports do you like?", "Do you like natto (a kind of mashed beans that's disgusting. widely described by the Japanese as a version of Vegemite, but I don't think so. Vegemite smells! Natto has no odour, but still gross.) and "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?". I refuse to answer the last question straightforwardly because it's private. I don't want my students to assume that any guy walking beside me in Shiraoka is my boyfriend or potential one! So I'll always say "I don't know", "I can't answer that" or "I have so many". But then by not answering directly, they'll immediately take it as a yes. Hah.

P.S I think I'm pmsing, which explains the mood of my posts these days....

It's hard to remember Singapore

Just to show how insignificant Singapore is to the eyes of the Japanese, some of the Japanese teachers that I've talked to would forget where I'm from soon after I offered that information. Suddenly during our conversations, the name "Malaysia", "Philippines", or "Thailand" will surface. Sometimes they threw me off with that, only to have me realised that they think I'm from one of those countries! And I would have the embarrassing honour to correct them. It's weird, but usually I feel more embarrassed than they are. They seem to think that it's normal not to remember where I'm from. Contrary to PM Goh or the current PM Lee, Singapore is not as outstanding a country as our Government portrays it to be in the international world. We can't help that Singapore is so small! But that doesn't mean it's insignificant!

I wish I can split myself into two

I should be going home for a little while in August. But there're two things I don't like about going home for the holidays. I'm torn between spending time with my family and friends. Because I can only afford spending a short time at home, my mum always nags that I don't spend enough time with the family. But that's not fair! My friends have to work. So naturally, I can only meet them after their work at night. Because of that I can't have dinner with my parents. Not having dinner with them means I won't be able to see them at all as they go to work at 5 a.m. and sleep very early at night. Also having different groups of friends mean going out on several nights, which usually leaves me only the weekends with my family. But I don't actually see a lot of my friends as I can only meet one group twice at the maximum. And those are usually reserved only for my long time secondary school friends. I can understand how my mum feels, but she has to understand my situation too. :(

Another thing is boredom. I've nothing to do during the day at all! My friends are working and my family members aren't at home too. Because it's the holidays, I've no work or studying to do. So it's actually a waste of money to go home as only my nights are utilised! Sometimes I'm tempted to use that money to go travelling instead. But I'll still go home even if it means spending only a little time with my family and friends.

Visiting the little ones

My supervisor came to pick Ricky and me this morning to Oyama for an elementary school visit. This was my 2nd time visiting an elementary school here. Sadly, it's only a once in a blue moon thing happening these 2 months. I love visiting the elementary schools because it reminds me of the short period I spent teaching at the Japanese primary school in Singapore. I especially miss my Pri 4 students whom I love lots! Haha..but only the Pri 1 to 4 have my affection because once they turn 11, their attitude becomes bad and most of them tower over me! And that makes it hard for me to impose my authority and keep the class in order. We visited the third graders today, and they are as cute as I expected. It's amazing how even the little things we say and do amused them. Or how they kept amusing each other in class. That's what I love about kids. They were so eager to shake hands with us and send us both to the principal's office when the class ended. We had an entourage of kids following behind us. I hope that the BOE can organise more of these visits for me!
There's something wrong with my camera, as most of my photos turned out to be very unfocused. What's happening?!

I was really glad to go back to my school after lunch to find out that Weird Teacher wasn't around this afternoon. Which meant that I didn't have to suffer his nonsensical teaching and rowdy classes! Going back home was a dread today because it's been raining the whole day. I cut a lone figure in my blue raincoat as I wheeled my bike and walked home in the rain. I wasn't in the mood to cycle in the rain today because my face always gets so wet from it. Many Japanese, looking perfectly dry with their umbrella in one hand (without a raincoat) and cycling at the same time, stared at me as I walked past solemnly. They must be wondering why I'm wearing a raincoat and wheeling my bike instead of riding it. Well, I would really love to cycle back too, but too bad I don't have your dexterous skill at keeping dry!

P.S An earthquake happened while I was writing this. The earth had been giving warning signs lately as it trembled softly many times this week.