Counting down

Hah..it may still be too early to count down to the new year. I was just reminded that year 2005 is about to end in less than a month. I'm kind of reluctant to let it go. Because this has been a significant year for me and I don't know what's awaits me in 2006. The events of 2004 are tightly entwined with this year. Without those experiences, I wouldn't be feeling what I feel now and wouldn't be where I am now. I know! It's too early to reflect on this year since there are still 29 days left. But because my sister and cousin are coming soon, I doubt I'll have any time for this.

2004 - A new year at home having returned from Melbourne. Had to prove that my Arts degree could get me a job. Had to find it fast so that I can start repaying my school loan to my grandfather. Had to adjust back to life in hectic Singapore. Had to endure a long distance relationship. Had to work under dirty minded Japanese bosses. Was very disappointed that I didn't get into JET. Started to go on frequent business trips. Went through an emotional ride. Spent the rest of the year hating my job and wondering when I'll ever get to Japan. Applied for JET the second time with a dead heart. Decided I should just die if I don't get it again. Mental switch clicked and became very depressed over many things and suffered from insomnia. Urge to escape from my reality. With the help of my family, signed up and went for a 10 day meditation retreat in Malaysia. Was mentally and physically tough, but it helped me a lot. Owe this to my mum, aunt and uncle. Thank you.

2005 - Felt so much better and peaceful with myself. Considering enriching myself with a TESOL course. In a dilemma if I should quit my job for the full-time course. Fretting over my JET interview. Handed in my resignation with a heart so free. Busy studying and doing projects for TESOL at RELC. Got a temporary job at the Japanese primary school. Loved and hated those kids. Agonising months waiting for the reply after the JET interview. Felt that life is so wonderful when I got the news. Spending lots of money and busy preparing for my new life. Saying goodbye to everyone..hardly any time to get excited or feel sad. And right now, enjoying and suffering in Japan.

I liked 2005. Had the opportunity to be alone to sort out what I want and find out more about myself. Still don't really know what I want..but what the heck. Started to find out things about myself that I never knew upon meeting new people. Found new courage in myself with new experiences.

And it is this positive energy that I hope will channel me to 2006. Nobody ever wishes for a bad year, yah? Only a better year than before. Whatever emotional baggage I still have, I hope I can leave them and move along with no regrets.