Trying not to look back

I went back to my previous school today as they needed 2 AETs for the 1 nensei open class. I was looking forward to it because I missed that school. Although there were a few people who were glad to see me back today (especially Yamada-kun and Yuguchi-kun), the feeling was different. I'm no longer the AET of that school. It just wasn't the same feeling as when I was teaching there. And only a week has passed since I left. So it made me reflect that many things and feelings that have passed are simply a thing of the past. They can only serve as memories and are intangible in the present. No matter how hard you try to capture them again, you'll never be able to experience the exact same feeling. And because it's intangible, it isn't real or doesn't seem real. Only the present is real.

But why do I keep holding on to these intangible things in life? If only I can just treat them as past memories to be cherished, that's ok. I try hard to breathe life into them again with my own imagination and fantasies. But they aren't going to work. There is something that I've been struggling with for a long time. I'm hoping for a closure or an answer that is still elusive. But I'm hopeful that I'll find it soon.